| Myth |
Reality |
| Women
are at greatest risk of being assaulted by strangers. |
Canadian,
British, and U.S. studies indicate that women are at far greater
risk of being assaulted by men they know. |
| Men
cannot control their sexual urges, and if a woman gets her dates
sexually aroused, she deserves what she gets. |
Men
are capable of controlling themselves. That's why forcing sex
on women (or children/men, etc) is illegal. Even if a woman
has consented to petting or necking, she still has the right
to control her own body. When woman says NO or NO MORE, then
the man is required by law to stop. |
| If
a man buys his date dinner she "owes" him sex. |
No
one "owes" sex for anything. |
| If
a woman claims to be raped by someone she dates or is married
to, she is lying. |
Having
sex with a person one time does not "imply" consent to any future
sexual acts. Consent to sexual acts must always be a cooperative
act of free will. |
| If
a woman was raped, she probably "asked for it". |
No
one ever deserves to be raped. Victims should not have to suffer
blame for the actions another person uses against them. |
| It's
not really rape if the victim isn't a virgin. |
Rape
is rape. Regardless of whether or not the woman is a virgin,
or whether she has consented to sexual acts with the man before.
|
| If
a woman doesn't fight back or if there's no gun or knife, it's
not rape. |
A
woman does not need to be "putting up a good fight" in order
for it to be rape (even according to the law). When a woman
submits to sexual acts out of fear or coercion, it's rape. Not
fighting back or screaming is more of an indication of fear
than of "wanting it". |
| A
woman is obligated to have sex with her husband, even if she
doesn't want to or even if it is violent. |
Marital
rape is legally a crime. The Bible allows periods of sexual
abstinence by mutual agreement for a purpose [1 Corinthians
7:1-6]. A husband who would force his wife into sexual intimacy
needs serious counseling. |
| Women
in abusive relationships stay because they enjoy being abused. |
Women
who are abused by their partners do not stay in the relationship
because they like being bullied. Most victims want to improve
their relationship rather than end it. Their feelings of care,
love and loyalty may override her own pain and suffering. She
may not feel supported or even safe to admit what is happening.
If married, she may feel it is her "wifely duty" to perform
marital sex, even if it is violent. The abusive person must
accept responsibility for the violence, not the victim. |
